2026-2027 Week 1 Round Up
Team Carl vs. Purdy Young Things
When we last left Team Carl, Jaylen Waddle and Harrison Butker needed to combine for 71.85 points to author the greatest Monday-night comeback in league history. They scored 8.2.
Waddle contributed one catch, 1.2 fantasy points and several uncomfortable close-ups of Carl refreshing the app. Butker added 7 points, which was helpful in the same way a cup of water is helpful during a house fire. Team Carl didn’t complete the miracle. They didn’t reach the projected 141.9. They barely disturbed the crime scene.
The final:
Purdy Young Things 192.76
Team Carl 129.12
Final margin: 63.64 points.
Josh Allen, Derrick Henry, Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Zay Flowers combined for 133.16 points—meaning Christopher Shoemaker’s top four players outscored Carl’s entire finished lineup by 4.04. Four players beat ten. That’s not roster depth. That’s a hostile takeover. Allen delivered 39.66. Henry bulldozed his way to 37.3. JSN and Flowers combined for another 56.2, while Carl received just 23.82 points from Drake Maye, Waddle and Butker combined. The standings now show Purdy Young Things at 1–0 and in first place. Team Carl falls to 0–1 and sixth, presumably because the league’s software does not offer a “missing persons” category. Carl entered Monday needing history. He got one catch from Jaylen Waddle. Purdy Young Things entered Monday needing nothing. And somehow still won the night.
Team DuShuttle vs. I QUIT
Heading into Monday night, Team DuShuttle, Doug needed Courtland Sutton and Travis Kelce to erase a 25.26-point deficit—plus whatever Kenneth Walker III added for I QUIT. Walker added 36.1. So much for keeping the target manageable. Walker stormed through Denver and turned a comfortable lead into a formal eviction notice. Sutton answered with 3.1 points. Kelce supplied 10.1. Combined, DuShuttle’s Monday-night cavalry scored 13.2. Walker beat them by 22.9 points all by himself.
The final:
I QUIT 142.56
Team DuShuttle 94.40
Final margin: 48.16 points.
Lamar Jackson established control with 27.96. Javonte Williams added 24.2. Then Walker closed the building with 36.1, giving I QUIT’s quarterback and two leading running backs 88.26 points—nearly DuShuttle’s entire team total. Doug’s lineup was projected for 135.2. It finished 40.8 points short. Drake London, Davante Adams and Sutton combined for 14.2 points, meaning Team DuShuttle’s entire receiving corps was outscored by Breece Hall alone—and nearly matched by Cam Skattebo. Even Ja’Marr Chase’s 3.2-point disappearance couldn’t make this competitive. Michael Carnicelli absorbed Chase’s dud, a one-point kicker and a two-point defense—and still won by almost 50. I QUIT moves to 1–0 and fifth place. Team DuShuttle falls to 0–1 and ninth, which is also roughly where its wide receivers appeared on the depth chart.
The team named I QUIT never did. By Monday night, Team DuShuttle had every reason to.
Diamond Dogs vs. Hate Us Cause They Ain’t Us
To complete the comeback, Rashee Rice needed a mere 79.11 points and Derek would secure himself a win; Rice scored 9.9. A respectable football performance. A disappointing attempt at the greatest rescue mission in fantasy history.
The final:
Diamond Dogs 182.96
Hate Us Cause They Ain’t Us 113.76
Final margin: 69.20 points.
Caleb Williams and D’Andre Swift combined for 73.66 points, meaning Kevin Ware could have removed everyone else from his lineup and still nearly covered the final margin with two Chicago players. Add Bijan Robinson’s 31.3, and the three-headed attack produced 104.96 points—just 8.8 fewer than Derek’s entire roster. Diamond Dogs entered the week projected for 129.8. They exceeded that by 53.16 points. Hate Us Cause They Ain’t Us was projected for 133.5 and finished nearly 20 points below it, despite Christian Watson’s heroic 34.7-point performance. Watson brought a flamethrower. The rest of the roster brought permission slips. Justin Herbert scored 14.26. James Cook managed 9.9. A.J. Brown and Tee Higgins combined for 14.5. Colston Loveland finished with zero, contributing the same number of points as everyone watching from home. Rice was supposed to provide the Monday-night miracle. Instead, he tied James Cook. Diamond Dogs moves to 1–0 and third place. Hate Us Cause They Ain’t Us falls to 0–1 and seventh, a result that raises an important question:
Do the Diamond Dogs hate them? No. But after winning by 69.2, they may have forgotten they played them.
QB PARTY vs. Make My Team Win Again
Were a long way from the 2025 AFC Divisional Round for Bo Nix. Bo needed to outscore the Broncos defense by approximately 111 points to complete the comeback. Nix scored 6.44. The Broncos defense scored 4. So close—in the same way Denver is close to the moon.
The final:
QB PARTY 188.90
Make My Team Win Again 80.94
Final margin: 107.96 points.
Nix’s Monday-night appearance reduced the deficit by exactly 2.44 points, leaving Gentry only 107.97 short of victory. Brian McElroy’s lineup received at least 21.2 points from six different players. Brock Purdy, Jahmyr Gibbs, David Montgomery, Justin Jefferson, Chris Olave and Nico Collins combined for 171.2 points—more than twice the opposing team’s total. Make My Team Win Again was projected to score 130.9. It finished 49.96 points below projection. QB PARTY was projected for 140.3. It exceeded that by 48.6. That’s nearly a 99-point swing between expectation and reality—a technical statistic known in fantasy circles as “turning off the app.” Jonathan Taylor led Gentry’s team with 25.1. No other player reached 12. Bo Nix and Kyle Pitts combined for 6.44 points, with Pitts providing zero catches, zero yards and an inspiring commitment to minimalism. QB PARTY moves to 1–0 and second place. Make My Team Win Again falls to 0–1 and tenth, having been outscored by more than its entire final total. Monday night was supposed to provide a miracle. Instead, it provided four points from the defense, 6.44 from the quarterback and one final confirmation:
The quarterback attended QB PARTY. He was just on the other roster.
Hakeem Nicks is Real vs. Ace Trumpets
Monday Night Football arrived with drama and suspense. Neither of them applied here. Hakeem Nicks is Real had already completed the demolition. Ace Trumpets had nobody left to play, no mathematical pathway and no reason to keep the fantasy app open.
The final remained:
Hakeem Nicks is Real 179.76
Ace Trumpets 108.96
Final margin: 70.80 points.
Jack Cassady’s team was projected for 142.7 and exceeded that mark by 37.06 points. Ace Trumpets was projected for 128.7 and finished 19.74 points below it. That’s nearly a 57-point swing between forecast and reality—or, in meteorological terms, a trumpet warning. Ashton Jeanty, Amon-Ra St. Brown and Dallas Goedert combined for 87.1 points. Add Jayden Daniels, and those four players produced 106.76—just 2.2 fewer than William Black’s entire lineup. Even Jack’s defense and kicker joined forces for 28 points, outscoring Joe Burrow and Saquon Barkley’s combined 24.16. When your opponent’s special teams beat your quarterback and first-round running back, the postgame handshake becomes a wellness check. Hakeem Nicks is Real moves to 1–0 and fourth place. Ace Trumpets falls to 0–1 and eighth, after a performance in which Parker Washington’s 19.3 points somehow became the team highlight. Monday night offered no comeback. No stat correction. No late twist. Just one final confirmation:
Hakeem Nicks is real. And the Ace Trumpets were playing taps.